My room was dark, I was leaving the lights off on purpose. Roxy Music playing on my speakers, I loved Byran Ferry's voice. I shivered over my skin. I was eating cinnamon hearts, letting them melt in my mouth. I would not cry, the red velvet panties and bra I wearing dared me not too. I wiped my eyes, and smudged my eyeliner a little.
I missed him, and I hated myself for it.
I was not one of those girls, I was cool, I was nice and relaxed. I could just be alone, except now. I wanted Chaotic, and all that he entailed. He made me feel alive, and trust me I knew what the opposite was like, I shivered. My life, made feeling alive a very precious thing.
He wasn't the boy in dreams but, he was really real. I could kiss him when he was here, I wouldn't trade that. Who cares if he didn't really want a girlfriend? I'd still be good to him. I was just that kind of a girl, I liked him, he made me cum, it was a good thing.
I pulled on my blue dress over my head. I looked really nice, almost, sweet like an old sixties cartoon. Tonight, I was going out, no sense in staying home with my mom. She was being unusually grumpy, even for her. I couldn't quite understand it, we were always fighting. Nothing could stop us, not my brother or my aunt. I just wanted a break.
I just couldn't stand it anymore. So, here I was leaving home, creeping down the fire escape. I smiled as I headed out in the early dusk.
Whispers hit my ears as soon as I left the house, I pushed them back thinking of the naughtiest thoughts I had. Cassette kissing me in the bathrooms at school, pulling my panties down. Chaotic bending me over his knee and spanking me in their living room. Billy Finnebaum fingering me in the eighth grade, all of it, none of it was keeping the whispers away. My heart was beating in time with my tightly clenching pussy.
I hopped on the hopped the M5 and found a seat. Sitting seemed like a great idea right about now. The bus rumbled underneath me, and we sped off, I was excited and hopeful. Nights like this seemed, amazing, the glitter party sounded cool. Really my kind of thing, I wanted to join the show myself, I wondered if I could. I did have theater experience after all, maybe that would get me out of mom's house, I couldn't keep it up.
Dreams, we all needed dreams.